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lifecoachmeredith1

Self-Manipulation

Do you ever think any of these thoughts?

  • "I don't have time to write."

  • "My kids and spouse needs me. I need to be available for them."

  • "My schedule is too full."

  • "Something always comes up when I try to put myself first."

  • "I am just a stay at home mom, who am I to write a book?"

  • "What will people think of me writing a book?"

These thoughts are keeping you paralyzed, stuck and overwhelmed!

You must begin with an honest look at your desire…do you really want to write?

WHY do you want to write? Give yourself some reasons.

Then have an honest look at your daily schedule. Can you make time for you? You get to decide the schedule, so what do you want your day to look like?

I know you might say, “But what if something comes up and I have to take care of it?” Well, that might happen…what will you do about it?

In my experience, most things that seem urgent can wait for a little bit.

For instance, if your child forgot their homework, they might urgently text you to bring it to them. BUT do they need it right away? Maybe making them figure out what to do about it would be more beneficial to them in the long run. Natural consequences are the best teachers! However, you might think, “I should take it to them. A good mom would drop it off. I don't work, so I have the time and flexibility to do it.” Does that type of thinking help you? No, this is a form of self-manipulation! You are training your brain that your desires and goals don't matter and that you don't keep commitments to yourself.

So next time you get a “urgent” text from someone, ask yourself,

“Is there a way for this person to figure this problem out themselves?"

“Who else could be a part of this solution?”

“Can this ‘urgent’ situation wait until I am done with my personal commitments?”

And sometime you will want to be the one to take care of that urgent need and it is ok to do it! Just like your reason and know that you are showing up exactly how you want to show up with no Resentment for the one you are helping or for the time you took to do that thing.



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